Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in try getting a reservation at Dorcia now's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
6:49 pm	fuckyoucrew 1. John Frusciante 2. Tom Waits 3. The Temptations 4. Billy Joel 5. REM 6. Pearl Jam 7. Wu-Tang Clan 8. Nine Inch Nails 9. Frank Zappa 10. Public Enemy 11. Beck 12. Bob Dylan 13. Beastie Boys 14. Red Hot Chili Peppers 15. Talking Heads 16. Leonard Cohen 17. Stevie Ray Vaughan 18. Aimee Mann 19. The Smashing Pumpkins 20. Charles Manson (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 6th, 2004
11:57 pm	I got accepted into Evergreen State College today in Olympia, Washinton. RIVERSIDE, MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 27th, 2004
5:14 pm	I made a necklace out of my wisdom teeth I made a necklace out of my wisdom teeth. I played a show infront of about 800 kids at my school with my electroclash group called The Hate Crew ( not to be mistaken with Hate is Great). We stole the show. If it wasn't great enough that we got an applause when we just walked out on the stage, we were the only group that got a standing ovation from everyone in the crowd except for the parents, but that made it even better. I knew I was working the crowd with the melodies of the songs and my crew's vocal talents, but when the show climaxed with me doing push ups and busting the robot out I knew we had won their hearts. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 29th, 2004
9:27 pm	what about that bitch you got shot fuck her you think I give a damn about a bitch I aint a sucker I woke up I had a nice morning I drove out to chandler to speak to the new youth group at east valley chandler about district events. Wow it was cool. It is such a diverse group of kids and they are like all ages and there is like 25 of them. So we painted a wall in our youth room today and I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE. Geoff Comp and I had paint all over our bodies so we washed off with a hose but the paint would not come off at all. Geoff suggested we use paint thinner on our bodies and then just wash it all off really quick before it starts to burn. So we are in our boxers at church just splashing terpintine on eachother and like we were fine and the paint was coming off. Then like all of the sudden we start to feel like burning around like our crotches. It was just a tingle at first but then it got really bad. Like really bad. We immediatley started screaming. Our balls were on fire. For like forty minutes we sprayed water on our nuts and asses and teabagged ourselves in ice water, but the pain would not go away, and we fucking knew it was the paint thinner. We figured it must hae like collected after we washed it off like at the bottom of our butt's our something, but it was the worst. So I realize that I have to drive Stephen Brookshire home so I have to spend like thirty minutes driving him home and then the plan was to go over to Comp's house to jump in the pool. So I barely make it to geoff's house and we fucking run for the pool with our balls and asse's and taints burning on fire from this fucking paint thinner. His mom comes out and is all like,"Hey is everything OK," cause she knows something is wrong. And we tell her the story but we said our bodies burn, not the specifice place. So she fucking calls poison control and makes geoff and I take a twenty minute cold shower of just like spraying of the burning areas which she doesn't know is our nuts. So for twenty minutes I had to like spray ice cold shower water on my ass and balls. After we got out she told me she picked up my boxers and smelt them. She gave them to me to smell and the were covered in paint thinner. That's why the pain wouldn't go away. The terpintine wasn't on our nuts it was in the clothes we were wearing which was just our boxers. I swear to god I have like first degree burns all around my thighs and just ughh. I thought jumping off of katie's roof was like the dumbest thing I could ever do and that was it. But damn paint thinner on the genitals. SHIT! Current Mood: a little stingy (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 25th, 2004
8:32 pm	i like honey cause I'm a little bear ahhhhh, there is nothing worse than going through a period of time that is defined by nothing. When I was in the 8th grade I got the role of the lead in Beauty and the Beast. That was a time. This past summer was a time. Now is nothing nowhere. I wake up I go to school. All of my teachers have no qualities that make them stand out. I come home and usually don't do anything except like listen to music and stuff. I try to be recreational, but I'm tired a lot. Ben manker-sexing came into town a few weeks ago and that was fun making music with him and geoff b. That actually lead to my music project with geoff. Hate is Great. I hate waiting in lines, talking to people that think I like them( which is no one reading this cause I love all of you), women who are forty that dress like they are 18. The girls in my math glass. How svetlana khorkina didn't win the gold in the women's all around. Lots of good writing material for a rap troop. Garden State is my favorite movie everyone see garden state. CAmp stuff is fun. I always loved talking with Liz before and now as dean with her it is like my job to talk to her almost everyday. this weekend should be interesting my parents are out of town, which happens a lot, but I don't know. I'm looking for something cool to happen. Just and adventure. Something other than these weeks just passing into nothing Current Mood: blah (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 19th, 2004
12:24 am	John+Geoff B.= Hate is Great ben manker-seale came to my house for the weekend and we formed a rap troop called pussy maloo. but I'll save that story for later. So anyway I finally got all my shit back from GA, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you alan. So I didn't have like an extra pair of contacts so I wore like my contacts for like so long agter Ga and you are supposed to throw them out after two weeks but I stretched it like mad. I saw manhattan, The Station Agent, Garden State, camp, san bernadino, a lot of people I won't see again for awhile, and the summer. I had a summer with these contacts. And yesterday I got my shit in the mail and there were my contacts in a bag from GA I had been missing. So I took out these contacts that I had had for the summer and tossed them out and I swear to god I felt so attatched I almost started tearing up. It was most definetley a moment. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 2nd, 2004
3:26 pm	Floating on OK. Honestly I was gonna wait like a week and read everybody's after camp post's and then just steal ideas, but I'll try to realize what I'm thinking now instead. Being back I forgot I have friends here too. Crazy Ok. These last three weeks have been a life. I went up the hill and a new life began. I mean I am me. I have the same characteristics, personality, and physical traits, but something new was tapped upon. As I have been getting older I have been cutting the youth bellow me out of my life. I would get older and they were always younger and I never turned around to like understand a younger person's world. And I mean young. Which it is not healthy to have a friend relationship with like a 9 year old when I'm 17, but that's not the point I'm trying to make. I always just thought I was lost from kids that were younger than me and that that part of my life was over so why should I have any connection to it. BUt when I stopped and looked back. Well I would wake the kids and do workshops, and just get to know what they think and see how they try to express who they are, and I realize it doesn't come that easy to them because they are all so young and have no clue what they will be. Which I'm one to talk right? I mean everyone always has trouble sometimes expressing themselves. BUt I saw camp in a different way and I saw my friends in a different way. I learned what it means to but effort into the community at camp and have a group of people trust me that I will, as well as they would to me, get them through the week safley. I learned what it means to maintain and make friendships under heavy respnsibility. I saw camp in a different way of just coming up with my peers and chilling out and doing shit. I was in such shock when sr high rolled around, I missed seeing the campsers. And it wasn't like a power trip thing like that I liked to be in control or anything, but I just liked seeing camp from a different perspective. Like one of a CIT or Counselor. I miss it. As for everyone going off to college and I might not see them for awhile. I'm not as sad as I thought I would be. Last week wasn't the end. And neither is winter camp for that matter. The end has no end. It will only be different. I just have to find a different way to see the people I want to see. It won't be handed to me every month on a platter in like the form of a con or something. And my relationships. I trust myself that I have made strong enough relationships with people that I won't loose track or anything, because I trust all of my bonds with people. From the ones that have been happening for years, months, our even friends that I've had for awhile, but the bonds have just come to surface in the past three weeks. I'm not worried I'm not scared. And if I get lonely, I'll just find a song to sing. I got home. I rested. I played. I had my wisdom teeth pulled earlier today. THe hair on my face is getting long and I think I might leave it that way for awhile. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 8th, 2004
1:44 pm	I stopped trying to fear things out a long time ago I went to a house, my house, in connecticut. I went to new york city. no comment. while I was there I didn't have much to do with myself so I started rereading certain parts of american psycho that tickle my fancy. I got on the the supershuttle thing to take me to the newark airport but it was like whoa. See, the young woman that got in the stop after mine sat right next to me. Her face when looked at was not that impressive, yeah I don't care how that sounds, but when I looked straight ahead and could only see her out of the corner of my eye I could swear she resembled scarlett johannsen. The feeling this gave me was that of being in the 4th grade and realizing the girl that all the boys have a crush on and go ga-ga over likes you as she expresses this by pulling you aside after class behind a bookshelf and kissing you on the cheek. The flight was delayed 3 and a half hours. I was sitting in my seat on the plain and we couldn't take off due to weather reasons, and when the pilot would have to announce another time change, everyone would let out a, "sigh" or a, "fuck" or a, "nigga you need to get this plane off the ground." I swear to god. And then everyone would look around at eachother and I could tell that all of their pissy attitudes had bonded them in this community or group they created cause everyone was on the same level. everyone wanted to go. well fuck that. I kept it in and just read a fucking magazine. It will be a cold day in hell when I express a vulnerable emotion in a plane full of people I don't know and generally didn't care about. There was a little child crying and throwing tantrums the whole time. but what pissed me off more was the father. He would wait until the child got really loud and then he would calm the child down. Just to know that the father could handle the situation, but would decide not to until the child got really loud and annoying, it made me want to get up and just insult the man on his god-awful appearance:His three day old scruff of a beard, his sweaty shinny face, his disgusting balding pattern that didn't have a snowflakes chance in hell hidding under an ugly golfer hat the man had planted atop his head. fuck that guy. As the flight went on I got to see some of America West flight # 73's most interesting characters, for I was sitting next to the bathroom and almost eveyone on the flight walked back there at one time or another. oh but this woman. this ugly old woman. She was wearing a blouse similar to the one's the flight attendants were wearing, but her face was. It was done up in a foundation that was way to oily and dark and this was obvious because you could see her real skin, pale and liverspotted, between all the cracks and wrinkles in her face. Though the worst part was her eyes. Her eyelids were saggy and they drooped halfway down her eyeball so she looked like she was smoking weed or something. And her eyebrows were the worst. They were drawn on crooked and at a sharp angle so they accentuated how ugly of an old woman she really was. And when she came back to my part of the plane she leaned into my row because of turbulence, she should have known better due the to fucking seatbealt sign being on and the captain telling everyone to stay seated, and she touched me with her smelly old skin and awful clothing. ewwwww. I later found out she was the grandmother of the whinning child and, odds are, the mother of that ugly man balding fucker. I wanted the plane to crash in a way so only those 3 died. The plane landed and I got off as fast as I could. For my bookmark in the book I’m reading I use an index card. On the index card is a graphic picture of a woman being punched in the stomach and blood shooting out of her genitals. All this while a gun is held to her head and blood leaking down her cheek with her eyes rolled back. I wanted to leave it face up on the seat and then leave. So the next person that sat their would pick it up and look at it. I wanted them to see it and see the hatred that exists in this world could have been absent by only a few hours, but still very hauntingly present through expression. But no. I wanted to get up myself and look one of the flight attendants in the eye and hand them the image. I wanted them to look into my cloudy, cold eyes and understand that I am and individual with feelings. I wanted them to look face to face at the person that doesn’t give a fuck. I wanted them to know I’m not part of anything that this plane would call a decent community. The feeling was so strong everything around me had turned white and flowing as the chemicals released in my brain….. By the time I was walking through the terminal and to my car I was tearing up and I was afraid I was going to cry in front of everybody. Though by the time I got to my car I was in a bright enough mood to verbalize every discreet action I was doing in a cute little melody that I sang to myself. And now I'm home. Or I've been home. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 1st, 2004
2:48 am	well I shaved my head today, and I'm headed towards newark and visit the nycity for a bit/ smalltown connecticut. Since I took the time to sign on this late I should at least take some time to open up and write about ga. well I don't fucking feel like it. The last few days and or second to last day was a trip in its self of just like thinking to myself,"how the fuck did I get here." but like I tell the story in my head, like how I would tell it to someone that didn't attend ga, and it just like doesn't sound as interesting as it felt so I don't think I'll do that road and not tell here. besided it wouldn't, to me, capture the experience of ga for me to type it out cause I don't think it can even be expressed in words like how it felt to me. So yeah I'm probably not making sense by now. but from start to finish wow, it was just completely different and it didn't really have to do with anyone I know just like the people that. yeah I just like, people need love and direction. and yeah it's about to turn into a ramble so I'm just gonna stop. back on the sixth. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 9th, 2004
11:54 pm	I swear I have been doing more productive stuff than just thinking of things like this OK. Popular music is not in like the worst shape it could be in, but it had been a while since I had heard like a really sweet pop-rock tune that was like a love song.(YEAH!) So I heard this one song by The Darkness and it was catchy and my fingers were snapping and my feet 'a' tapping with like I don't know dance and shit. And I was positive that this song was about a guy who is obsessing over like a girl that he has a crush on. WHOA! I'm reading the Spin magazine the other day and I find out the song isn't about love, but rather the misfortune about having and STD. My life was(is) ruined. I don't know though. Decide for yourself. can't get rid of you I don't know what to do I don't even know who's growing on who (yeah yeah) cos everywhere i go your there i can't get you outta my hair i can't pretend that i don't care (it's not fair) I'm being punished for all my offences i wanna touch you but im afraid of the consequences i wanna banish you from which you came but your part of me now and i've only got myself to blame Chorus: your really growing on me (or am i growing on you) your really growing on me (or am i growing on you) ??? oww! Sleeping in a empty bed cos i can't get you outta my head and i won't have enough until your dead (yeah you heard what i said) i wanna shake you off but you just won't go and you are all i'll ever need but i don't want anyone to know and your attached to me and thats how you've grown will you leave me alone? (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 20th, 2004
2:19 pm	I wish this game still had fighting so I could bitch slap Wayne. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 6th, 2004
8:12 pm	a warm place Saturday night I played my first show in a while with my old afro-cuban band and it felt so good. I performed at a country club that was home to lots of rich men and their drunk trophy wives. But it was cool because we got a free dinner, and a very pricey one at that, which was just like insane. There was so much food. And a huge chocolate fountain that we got too adventurous in and started dipping motzorella sticks/my salad plate in to see what it would taste like. come to think of it the band that night was made up of two vegans, three vegitarians, and one meat eater. and yeah they told us to play for like forty five minutes but we ended up playing a four hour show and like yeah. I played guitar most of the night, but I thought I would be playing bass, and I didn't have a pick and by the end of the night my guitar's pick board was covered in blood. Neatness. and we got paid for the first time in the history of the band (other than tips from the tip jar). and we got two more gigs. And I was asked to make and EP of yoga music for my mother's friend mimi who teaches yoga in a place called gainey village, so I have like a few electronic songs lined up for that. Then my music teacher at school has been helping me with programing and making songs through the machine and I should be able to start recording soon. And I was invited into a studio by a guy that used to work (just a tiny tiny bit) with the gin blossoms, them being from scottsdale, arizona and all, so I want to get in there and see just exactly how things work in a place like that. If anyone hasn't seen Dead Man Walking they need to. NIN- the downward spiral & Carole King- tapestry are good albums to listen to listen to them. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 21st, 2004
10:17 pm	I can't stop listening to Alice In Chains Last Weekend: Greekman came into town and we went to go see James Brown and he rocked the fuck out with like a twenty piece band. Damn it was so funky. The Godfather of Soul. The hardest working man in showbizz. After we went to this kid Dave Talenfeld's house who goes to Greek's college and who also attended my high school last year but you know graduated. and oh my god it was so fun. they were like a bunch of really cool kids that were so goofy. They were you know like haning out drinking and smoking. OH MY GOD a pre enbargo cuban cigar. the thing must have been 40 years old, but they were smoking the shit out of it and it smelt like really dank like mad style. and these kids were so cool and I finally talked to this one kid Andy who also graduated last year that was always like this really pale skinny kid who never talked, but I found out he is a vegitarian and we had all this stuff in common and yeah you can't beat the feeling of really meeting new people. The world is such a beautiful place. The next day I went with Andrew Bates and Greekman went to see Kill Bill 2 as we had all seen the first in theaters so it only seemed appropriate to engage in the second. after we went back to dave's and everyone, like seven people, but me, smoked this crappy shwag and drank and then I said hey lets all break into this one elementary school and play basketball and it was so fucked up. it was really really goofy. next day was my birthday and the best present I got was from andrew bates. we once, like two months ago, had a conversation about how he can never remember anyone's birthday because like he just doesn't know people that well and like isn't like a big birthday person. well it was sunday evening and I got a call from him and he called me and wished me a happy birthday and yeah it was really cool cause yeah he has just changed for the better recently and yeah. great (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 18th, 2004
5:21 pm	utter sadness I hadn't had an erection in three days. I had a dream that I was beating up my minister, weird huh, and I woke up with a huge boner. So I finished off and masturbated, but something was wrong because something came out that wasn't supposed to. I went to the doctor today about it and he asked for a sample of my semen to check things out. He showed me to the bathroom and I started to masturbate. When I came to my climax I was so scared when I saw these two stringy things shot out. I called the doctor in and he rushed me to a private room and identified them as my vas deferens. I was rushed to the er at good samaratin hospital and operated on. I had to have an 1/8th of an inch of my epidiymis trimmed off. I'm on viox and dextra for the pain. It's really swollen. I couldn't go to church today. and it's my birthday. and I can't read. or rite. or speel. Current Mood: lack of balls (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, April 12th, 2004
10:30 pm	I.... I ate their brains ..........mmmphm....and I tried to cook a little a bit of a stressful day but I think I came out ok. had a really nice talk with my englsih teacher today about racial stereotypes and movies and books that deal with race related issues. like "do the right thing" and "the power of one." talked about a book that I bought at my first da in tucson call "learning to be white," which includes how to play a game called the ethnicity game. it is where you take your race and use it to describe other people. example: "yeah so mom I was talking to my friend Geoff Comp the other day, who is white, and yeah he is a great guy." the idea of the game is to make people realize that it is meaninless to physically describe someone of another race by their skin color because you wouldn't do it to yourself with your own ethnicity. and yeah it talks about other things and the history of underground movements and yeah. I think I might read it again. went to mike's tonight to borrow some stuff and to chilly yoddles with him. came home and had a yeah I really like my english teacher. he's really awsome and he's down with the green party ( and that is the shit) and just like everything that he represents is sanity, especially in highschool, to me. Current Mood: hype of the peppermint root (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 11th, 2004
10:47 pm	inspiration this is one of the most pleasant songs I have heard in a while (well no, but the words are just so upbeat, and its cheesy but meaningful. good mix.) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum, What might be right for you, may not be right for some. A man is born, he's a man of means. Then along come two, they got nothing but their jeans. But they got, Diff'rent Strokes. It takes, Diff'rent Strokes. It takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world. Everybody's got a special kind of story Everybody finds a way to shine, It don't matter that you got not alot So what, They'll have theirs, and you'll have yours, and I'll have mine. And together we'll be fine.... Because it takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world. Yes it does. It takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 7th, 2004
11:45 pm	going to seattle, washington tomorrow. back by sunday Current Mood: sick (Comment on this)
Monday, April 5th, 2004
10:54 pm	nothing to say, but fiction will take control before silence....(?) stains for father reaches his back well into a bowl it isn't so task true key insandrium heart leave back daughter danger life why? cuz they all know i'm cumming and i love you and i always had to thank god i found you sucked from a hair that digs into the darkness full of the fair that my head rides. I slide your kind through a ladder Hanging on a star Stray close so far am masculine to all the lie i am a boy and i know about him only line life ago i made her give me he i know made her sky my skies fuck you i wanna kiss meet you devote you to help well, life's a bath sex is water. We brought them up to roll them down in the morning, light might clean you out I'm the one who captures what he lost and turns it around.Glimpse your motion Sitting down It's like framing a pear Or saving sounds scatter the days around us have a win eating paradise No one's afraid to be called by another name No one dares to be put down where they don't belong Nowhere's anyone's reason out of place in my own time Drowning thinking that I'm dry Water inside we're all in water water we climb and run through it Water inside we're all in water Reaching inside of a big death bag sailing outdoors for the sun leaving all worries behind me hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 1st, 2004
8:19 pm	oh the twiddling knobs and tempo counting and part changing's have all payed off in a real live, well not live alive, but home made song. I just made my first like full lenth, more than eight measures, digital song. no sampled sounds. everything was analoged in the machine and built by me with effects from the ground up so the sounds are mine. all mine. I'm gonna put it on a smart media card, load it onto my zip drive, and then I can burn onto a cd. oh my god. perfect. and I'm a nerd. it's been so long since I was able to finish a musical thought. oh god and its so not what I would expect, but it's not the expectation of the sound rather than the knowledge of the recording that is what makes you feel good. (?) and it sound like...... like a sexy nursery rhyme. Current Mood: winningandlosing (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 30th, 2004
5:16 pm	upta par and katie buys a kitchen size the nightme insittintry a luf bu keya wastingtimesittingstill It would be silly to say that I had anything, but a good time this past weekend. and I did have a good time this past weekend. so there I said it. the board retreat was fun and great and a breath of fresh air. ha, a breath of fresh air. it took me until saturday afternoon to finally catch one. but that's all kool and the gang. it was like feeling positively-beautifully overwhelmed and at the same time so like," oh my god, I knew these people were gonna be in my house, but they are like, in my house." which was cool. I forgot how breathtaking the statues were. I have been going to the UUCP since I was born so they were always just there. I usually try to go to them at night with mike, but we park the car and get really scared cause it looks really creepy just looking into the darkend desert. I hadn't been out to the ladies at night since last june and I forgot how beautiful they were. stunning. were the cardboard babies really that scary? tuesday:good day at school music: up in the air between DJ names. 1. DJ French Fries 2. DJ Ardvark 3. DJ Duece (?) they are all silly anyway cause when it comes down to it I'm nothing but a kid sitting in my bedroom twiddling knobs and trying to put soul into a machine. I used to like hate drum machines and stuff like that until I heard my first John Frusciante album. but I guess that just goes to show you always end up doing something you never thought you would. and when I hit a musical wall and couldn't right a song the only way I knew how to anymore, I guess there was nothing to do but to go back to the place where western music started hundreds of years ago in synthesizers and analog samplers. Parents are out of town this weekend. no plans. no clue of what to do. Current Mood: I'm OK with myself (10 Comments |Comment on this)